I Love Being Gay | The Impact of Discovering My LGBTQ+ Identities
- Zoe Stoller
- Feb 10, 2021
- 2 min read

Being gay is 10000% one of my favorite things about myself.
And one of the main reasons is because it took me so long to figure it out — but once I did, my life changed so positively and profoundly.
In truth, I went the majority of my life not knowing about my LGBTQ+ identities.
I only figured out my sexuality (lesbian) 4 years ago, and my gender (genderfluid) this past year.
Before that, I believed I was a straight cis woman, and I acted in the ways I’d learned straight cis women should act.
🔹 I dated boys (in fact, I had a serious boyfriend in high school and many other straight relationships before and after that)
🔹 I dressed in the ways women were “supposed” to dress (this seemed to mostly consist of tight, form-fitting clothes, which rarely felt right on my body)
🔹 And I gave up my own needs and autonomy to meet the wants and needs of whatever person I was dating (I've learned this is called codependency!)
But of course, all this did was diminish my self-confidence, further keep myself in the dark about who I truly am, and deeply affect my mental health.
Since figuring myself out, though, and proudly being visible to the world, I’ve started living a life that’s completely authentic and free and *me*.
🔹 I started dating womxn, and I've now experienced what romance and intimacy are “supposed” to feel like — what I’d never felt when I dated men (but what I’d always so desperately wanted)
🔹 I started dressing in ways that felt more comfortable for me and exploring my androgynous side (while also still nurturing my femininity, which I love, and finding new ways to express it)
🔹 And I learned about my codependent traits and have worked hard over the past year to stop enacting them (and stick up for my own needs instead!)

Because I figured out my LGBTQ+ identities, I’ve gotten this incredible chance to change my life and turn it into something so authentic and happy.
And that (among many other reasons!) is why I love being gay! 🏳️🌈
💬 What’s something you love about yourself? 💬
✨ My lovely pillow and tapestry are from Look Human ✨
Comments